Hanuman Chalisa | Hanuman Chalisa Online Translation | Hanuman Chalisa Translation in Simple English

Hanuman Chalisa (Hindi: हनुमान चालीसा "Forty chaupais on Hanuman"), a Hindi-language poem primarily praising Lord Hanuman, is Tulsidas's (1532-1623; Devanāgarī: तुलसीदास) most famous and read piece of literature apart from the Ramacharitamanasa.

It has gained enormous popularity among the modern-day Hindus. Many of them recite it as a prayer every week, generally on Tuesdays or Saturdays. Hanuman is a bachelor God and many bachelors are staunch devotees of Shri Hanuman.

Flow of Grace: Chanting the Hanuman Chalisa, Entering into the Presence of the Powerful, Compassionate Being Known As Hanuman by Krishna Das. Sounds True; Har/Com edition, 2007. ISBN 1591795516.




JAI HANUMAN GYAN GUN SAGAR JAI KAPISH TUHI LOK UJAGAR"

Shree Guru Charan Saroj Raj, Nij Man Mukar Sudhari,
Barnau Raghuvar Bimal Jasu, Jo dayaku Phal Chari

With the dust of Guru's Lotus feet, I clean the mirror of my mind and then
narrate the sacred glory of Sri Ram Chandra, The Supereme among the Raghu dynasty. The giver of the four attainments of life.

Budhi heen Tanu Janike, Sumirow, Pa! van Kumar,
Bal Buddhi Vidya Dehu Mohi, Harahu Kalesh Bikaar

Knowing myself to be ignorent, I urge you, O Hanuman, The son of Pavan! O Lord! kindly Bestow on me strength, wisdom and knowledge, removing all my miseries and blemishes.

Jai Hanuman Gyan Guna Sagar
Jai Kipis Tihun Lok Ujgaar

Victory of Thee, O Hanuman, Ocean of wisdom and virtue, victory to the Lord of monkeys who is well known in all the three worlds

Ramdoot Atulit Bal Dhamaa,
Anjani Putra Pavansut naamaa.

You, the Divine messager of Ram and repository of immeasurable strength, are also known as Anjan iputra and known as the son of the wind - Pavanputra.

Mahebeer Bikram Bajrangi,
Kumati Nivaar Sumati Ke Sangi.

Oh Hanumanji! You are valiant and b! rave, with a body like lightening. You are the dispeller of darkness of evil thoughts and companion of good sense and wisdom.

K! an! chan Baran Biraaj Subesaa,
Kanan kundal kunchit kesa.

Shri Hanumanji's physique is golden coloured. His dress is pretty, wearing
'Kundals' ear-rings and his hairs are long and curly.

Hath Bajra Aur Dhvaja Birjai,
Kandhe Moonj Janeu saage.

Shri Hanumanji is holding in one hand a lighting bolt and in the other a banner with sacred thread across his shoulder.

Shankar Suvna Kesari Nandan,
Tej Pratap Maha Jag Vandan.

Oh Hanumanji! You are the emanation of 'SHIVA' and you delight Shri Keshri. Being ever effulgent, you and hold vast sway over the universe. The entire world propitiates. You are adorable of all.

Vidyavaan Guni Ati Chatur,
Ram Kaj Karibe Ko Atur

Oh! Shri Hanumanji! You are the repository learning, virtuous, very wise ! an! d highly keen to do the work of Shri Ram,
Prabhu Charittra Sunibe Ko Rasiya,
Ram Lakhan Sita man basyia.

You are intensely greedy for listening to the naration of Lord Ram's lifestory and revel on its enjoyment. You ever dw ell in the hearts of Shri Ram-Sita and Shri Lakshman.
Sukshma roop Dhari Siyahi Dikhwana,
Bikat roop Dhari Lank Jarawa

You appeared beofre Sita in a diminutive form and spoke to her, while you
assumed an awesome form and struck terror by setting Lanka on fire.

Bhim roop Dhari Asur Sanhare,
Ramchandra Ke kaaj Savare.

He, with his terrible form, killed demons in Lanka and performed all acts of Shri Ram.
Laye Sajivan Lakhan Jiyaye,
Shri Raghubir harashi ur laye.

When Hanumanji made Lakshman alive after bringing 'Sanjivni herb' Shri Ram took him in his deep embrace, his heart full of joy.

Raghu! pa! ti Kinhi Bahut Badaai,
Tum Mama Priya Bharat Sam Bahi.

Shri Ram lustily extolled Hanumanji's excellence and remarked, "you are as dear to me as my own brother Bharat"

Sahastra Badan Tumharo Jas Gaave,
Asa kahi Shripati Kanth Laagave.

Shri Ram embraced Hanumanji saying: "Let the thousand - tongued sheshnaag sing your glories"

Sankadik Brahmadi Muneesa,
Narad Sarad Sahit Aheesa

Sanak and the sages, saints. Lord Brahma, the great hermits Narad and
Goddess Saraswati along with Sheshnag the cosmic serpent, fail to sing the
glories of Hanumanji exactly

Jam Kuber Digpal Jahan Te,
Kabi Kabid Kahin Sake Kahan Te

What to talk of denizens of the earth like poets and scholars ones etc even Gods like Yamraj, Kuber,! a! nd Digpal fail to narrate Hanman's greatness in toto.

Tum Upkar Sugrivahi Keenha,
Ram Miali Rajpad Deenha

Hanumanji! You rendered a great service for Sugriva, It were you who united him with SHRI RAM and installed him on the Royal Throne.

Tumharo Mantro Bibhishan Maana,
Lankeshwar Bhaye Sab Jag Jaana.

By heeding your advice. Vibhushan became Lord of Lanka, which is known all over the universe.

Juug Sahastra Jojan Par Bhaanu,
Leelyo Taahi Madhur Phal Jaanu

Hanumanji gulped, the SUN at distance of sixteen thousand miles considering it to be a sweet frui! t.

Prabhu Mudrika Meli Mukha Maaheen,
Jaladhi Langhi Gaye Acharaj Naheen.

Carrying the Lord's ring in his mouth, he went acro! ss! the ocean. There is no wonder in that.

Durgam Kaaj Jagat Ke Jeete,
Sugam Anugrah Tumhre Te Te.

Oh Hanumanji! all the difficult tasks in the world are rendered easiest by your grace.
Ram Duware Tum Rakhavare,
Hot Na Aagya Bin Paisare.

Oh Hanumanji! You are the sentinel at the door of Ram's mercy mansion or His divine abode. No one may enter without your permission.

Sab Sukh Lahen Tumhari Sarna,
Tum Rakshak Kaahu Ko Darnaa.

By your grace one can enjoy! a! ll happiness and one need not have any fear under your protection.

Aapan Tej Samharo Aapei,
Tanau Lok Hank Te Kanpei

When you roar all the three worlds tremble and only you can control your might.

Bhoot Pisaach Nikat Nahi Avei,
Mahabir Jab Naam Sunavei.

Great Brave on. Hanumanji's name keeps all the Ghosts, Demons & evils spirits away from his devotees.

Nasei Rog Hare Sab Peera,
Japat Nirant er Hanumant Beera

On reciting Hanumanji's holy name regularly all the maladies perish the entire pain disappears.

Sankat Te Hanuman Chhudavei,
Man Kram Bachan Dhyan Jo Lavei.

T! hose who rembember Hanumanji in thought, word and deed are well guarded against their odds in life.

Sub Par Ram Tapasvee Raaja,
Tinke Kaaj Sakal Tum Saaja

Oh Hanumanji! ! ! You are the caretaker of even Lord Rama, who has been hailed as the Supreme Lord and the Monarch of all those devoted in penances.

Aur Manorath Jo Koi Lave,
Soi Amit Jivan Phal Pave.

Oh Hanumanji! You fulfill the desires of those who come to you and bestow
the eternal nectar the highest fruit of life.

Charo Juung Partap Tumhara,
Hai Parsiddha Jagat Ujiyara.

Oh Hanumanji! You magnificent glory is acclaimed far and wide all through the four ages and your fame is radianlty noted all over the cosmos.

Sadho Sant Ke Tum Rakhvare,
Asur Nikandan Ram Dulare.

Oh Hanumanji! You are the saviour and the guardian angel of saints and sages and destroy all the Demons, you are the seraphic darling of Shri Ram.

Ashta Siddhi Nau Nidhi Ke Data,
Asa Bar Din Janki Mata.

Hanumanji has been blessed with mot! he! r Janki to grant to any one any YOGIC power of eight Sidhis and Nava Nidhis as per choice.

Ram Rasayan Tumhare Pasa,
Sadaa Raho Raghupati Ke Dasa.

Oh Hanumanji! You hold the essence of devotion to RAM, always remaining His Servant.

Tumhare Bhajan Ramko Pavei.
Janam Janam Ke Dukh Bisravei.

Oh Hanumanji! through devotion to you, one comes to RAM and becames free from suffering of several lives.

Anta Ka al Raghubar Pur Jai,
Jahan Janma Hari Bhakta Kahai.

After death he enters the eternal abode of Sri Ram and remains a devotee of him, whenever, taking new birth on earth.

Aur Devata Chitt Na Dharai, Hanumant Sei Sarva Sukh Karai

You need not hold any other demigod in mind. Hanumanji alone will give all happiness.

Sankat Kate Mitey Sab Peera,
Jo Sumirei Hanumant Balbeera

Oh Powerful Hanumanji! You end the sufferings and remove all the pain from those who remember you.

Jai Jai Jai Hanuman Gosai
Kripa Karahu Gurudev Ki Naiee

Hail-Hail-Hail-Lord Hanumanji! I beseech you Honour to bless me in the
capacity of my supreme 'GURU' (teacher).

Jo Sat Baar Paath Kar Koi,
Chhutahi Bandi Maha Sukh Hoi.

One who recites this Hanuman Chalisa one hundred times daily for on e hundred days becames free from the bondage of life and death and ejoys the highest bliss at last.

Jo Yah Padhe Hanuman Chalisa,
Hoy Siddhi Sakhi Gaurisa

As Lord Shankar witnesses, all those who recite Han! uman Chalisa regularly are sure to be benedicted

Tulsidas Sada Hari Chera,
Keeje Nath Hriday Mah Dera.

Tulsidas always the servant of Lord prays. "Oh my! Lord! You enshrine within my heart.!

Chopai

Pavan Tanay Sankat Haran, Mangal Murti Roop.
Ram Lakhan Sita Sahit, Hriday Basahu Sur Bhoop.

O Shri Hanuman, The Son of Pavan, Saviour The Embodiment of
blessings, reside in my heart together with Shri Ram, Laxman and Sita
There is much more learning than knowing in this World

Michael Jackson Dead | Michael Jackson Dead Hoax Email Forward Dying | Latest News | Michael Jackson ill | Michael Jackson Close to Death

An email forward is circulating in which it is claimed that the real Michael Jackson is dead and that an impostor, possibly of supernatural origin, has taken his place. The message is disguised to resemble a genuine news report and includes images of the discovery and "the creature that claims to be Michael Jackson". According to this "news report" the corpse of the real Michael Jackson has been found buried under miniature-train tracks at Jackson's Neverland Ranch. Supposedly, forensic tests indicated that the body has been there for many years. The story implies that the entity currently claiming to be Michael Jackson is in fact an otherworldly figure - perhaps a demon.

Excerpt from email forward


Subject: SHOCKING NEWS

SANTA BARBARA, CA-During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday. "Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who-or what-has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."



Of course, there is not even a shred of truth in this far-fetched tale. The story is satire, and is presumably intended to amuse and entertain. This tale originates from a recent feature on the satirical news site, The Onion.

When viewed in it's original context on The Onion website, it is quite clear that the story is satirical and not intended to report a real incident. In fact, all stories featured on the Onion website are satirical in nature. Unfortunately, because the story is now circulating in the form of a sourceless email forward, some credulous recipients actually believe the story to be true in spite of its fantastic claims.

A closer examination of the information should reveal its satirical nature to even the most gullible of readers. Naturally, if true, such a story would be front-page news around the planet.

False reports about the deaths of celebrities are not uncommon. During 2004, a satirical "news" report about the death of American Idol's William Hung spread widely via email and the Internet and hoodwinked many readers.

How hackers break into your PC

For a hacker common methods for finding your IP address is through chatrooms, looking up domain names on a domain name registrar site, or running programmes that can create a log of all valid IP addresses.

In a chatroom, all a hacker has to do is right click on a chat ID and get the IP address. A domain registrar can yield a website’s employees’ names, phone numbers, fax numbers, physical addresses and IP addresses. In ‘social engineering’ a hacker verbally chats up the user and gets his IP address and other important information. Here’s looking into how a hacker can break into a PC and misuse it.

Mobile Phone Tricks | Cellphone Tricks | Amazing Free Moble Tweaks and Uses

Would you like to know if your Mobile is Original or Not ?

Press the following on your Mobile

*#06#

The International Mobile Equipment Identity [IMEI] number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th Digits of this IMEI Number.

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality

IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELL PHONE COULD DO

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it

EMERGENCY

The Emergency Number Worldwide for Mobile is 112
If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the Emergency Number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked.

Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone:

If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end.

Your car will unlock.

Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.

Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).


Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery.

To activate, press the keys *3370#

Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile Phone's Serial Number, key in the following digits on your phone:

*#06#

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset called the IMEI Number. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.








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3 yr old Romanian Singer Cleopatra Stratan.. toooooooooooo gud

3 yr old Romanian Singer Cleopatra Stratan… her dad Pavel Stratan is a famous singer ……. he was in the studio recording when his daughter was playing there....she suddenly picked up the mike and started singing ……… everybody was stunned ………… and she ended recording the whole album!

The last stanza is in Romanian language ….
About Cleopatra Stratan
Cleopatra Stratan (born October 6, 2002 in Chisinau, Moldova), daughter of Moldovan-Romanian singer, Pavel Stratan, is one of the youngest people ever to score commercial success as a singer, with her 2006 album La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3").
Pavel Stratan, father of Cleopatra, was in a studio recording a song with 3 years old Cleopatra hanging around. Impulsively, she grabbed a microphone and started singing along with Pavel. Everybody was stunned so they ended up recording the song with Cleopatra performing the lead vocals rather than Pavel. The song was "Mama" (mother). After that, Cleopatra recorded several other songs, basically a full album, and eventually performed some concerts.
Some suggest that as she is younger than Shirley Temple, she should be included in the Guinness Book of World Records as the youngest talent ever to perform on stage and record her own album. In Romania, Moldova, and around the world, there seems to be a growing fan base. Some of her songs have already been translated into English and Spanish.
La vârsta de trei ani ("At the age of 3") was a double platinum disk in the summer of 2006 for selling more than 150,000 albums in Romania. In December 2006, her father announced that until the next album (possibly in one or two years), she will no longer sing publicly.
As of 2006, Cleopatra's biggest hit is the song "Ghiþã".
lyrics… just have an eye at the lyrics while listening to the song.....u ll enjoy like anything.dis s one of ur bday gift........


The coat is inside out,
There is no sun above
Nothing is going good
Since I think of Ghita.
But Ghita's not in town
I asked why he's not around
It seems to me he's gone
He's gone abroad

Hard, I think it's very hard
Want, I don't know what I want
I know that you like me too
Ghita, what is up with you?
Young, come on in or go
Young, tell me yes or no
Ghita, please dont´t anger me
Tell me how your life will be

Ghita,
Tonight I'm waiting at the wicket
Me at the station I bought a ticket
Come to,
But don't come as you did before
As usually with empty hands...
Who else
Will wait and sing for you as I do
Entire evening just getting there
Ghita,
Show me a girl who's found of you
That loves you more as much as I do...

Ghita, te-astept diseara la portita
Langa portita de la scoala
Vino da numa nu vini cum vii tu
De obicei cu mana goala
Cine te mai asteapta ca si mine
O seara intreaga numai pe tine.
Ghita, arata-mi tu o fata care
Sa te iubeasca asa de tare!

REMO AND LAKALAKA REMIX FUNNY

TELUGU MOVIE KANTRI TITle SONG ENGLISH VERSION

Yuvraaj.........music binds love

Presenting Punjlish : The English of Punjab : Funny Punjabi ABC

Presenting Punjlish : The English of Punjab : Funny Punjabi ABC

PUNJABI ABC

This one's not just for Punjabis but for all those who have faced
'Punjlish'.

A is for Aiscreame

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum. It is an
instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or
whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its
first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. 'Defence Cloney'.


D is for the proverbial ‘Dangar da Puttar’

E is for Expanditure, the spending of money

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is
actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).


G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1
driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way Hamilton,
Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder's taxi.)


H is for 'Ho Jayega Ji', and the moment you hear that you have to be
careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.


I is for Intezaar, and to know more about it see P.


J is for Jutt, which every Punjabi seems to be.


K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses
(e.g.'Keeping up with the Khuranas ji')


L is for Loin, the king of the jungle


M is for 'Mrooti', the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in
love with.


N is for 'No Problem Ji.' To find out how that works see H.


O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting
(Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy...).


P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far
(100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he'll reach you in punj
mint (5 minutes...).


Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslateable into Punjabi.


R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one
(risk), even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sunny, Simmi and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars
in Delhi . (The other half by their Pappas - like 'Sweetie de Pappa di Gaddi')


T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chicken.


U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become 'Uncle-ji'


V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.


W is for Whan, as in 'Whan are you coming, ji?'


X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in Punjabi
conversations.


Y is for 'You nonsense', when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting
match.

Z is for Zindagi which every Punjabi knows how to live to the fullest.

26 International Rules of Manhood : Funny

01. Under no circumstances may two men use an umbrella.

02. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

a. When heroic dog dies to save it's master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts to unbutton her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into the "Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.

03. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

04. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05. If you've know a guy for more that 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

06. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden, however complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

08. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

09. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a top-less model and only when it's free.

11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Never. Issue closed.

14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

15. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed women must remain sober enough to fight.

17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

18. If you compliment a guy on his six pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

19. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

20. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: ie. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21. Never allow a phone conversation with a women to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the
phone. Hang up if necessary.

22. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a mistake it was occurs.

23. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,orange or sky blue.

25. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

26. There is no reason for a man to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Buy Tickets for India Vs Australia Test Series Oct 2008 Match Schedule

India is going to welcome Australia in a four match test series, starting from October 9, 2008. The exciting series is expected to be staged as both the sides will be looking to win the test series. Australia will play two practice matches against teams in India ahead of the series. India lost test series in Australia 2-1 earlier this year. Indian fans will expect Indian players to take the revenge of that defeat and retain Border-Gavaskar trophy once again.

The tickets can be collected from below contacts

E: kashan@ticketpro.in
T: +91 080-22862612 | Fax:+91 080-41219492 | Skype: kashan.ticketpro

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TICKETPRO – YOUR TICKET TO THE ENTERTAINMENT WORLD


Australia tour of India, 2008/09
September 2008
Sat 27 - Sun 28 Rajasthan Cricket Association's Centre of Excellence v Australians
Venue TBC
October 2008
Thu 2 - Sun 5
04:00 GMT TBC v Australians
Venue TBC
Thu 9 - Mon 13
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 1st Test - India v Australia
M Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bangalore
Fri 17 - Tue 21
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 2nd Test - India v Australia
Punjab Cricket Association Stadium, Mohali, Chandigarh
Wed 29 - Sun 2
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 3rd Test - India v Australia
Feroz Shah Kotla, Delhi
November 2008
Thu 6 - Mon 10
09:30 local, 04:00 GMT 4th Test - India v Australia
Vidarbha Cricket Association Ground, Nagpur

Indian National Anthem chose World's Best National Anthem by UNESCO

Indian National Anthem chose World's Best National Anthem by UNESCO


Indian National Anthem "Jana Gana Mana" written and composed by Rabindra Nath Tagore has been chosen as the World's Best National Anthem by UNESCO.

Jana Gana Mana Written in Sanskritised Bengali, it is the first of five stanzas of a Brahmo hymn composed and scored by Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore.

It was first sung at the Calcutta Session of the Indian National Congress,on 27 December 1911. Jana Gana Mana was officially adopted by the Constituent Assembly as the Indian national anthem on January 24, 1950. The music for the "current version" is said to be derived from a composition for the song by Ram Singh Thakur, although some dispute this.

A formal rendition of the national anthem takes about forty-eight to fifty-two seconds.



The lyrics of the national anthem is as follows

Jana gaṇa mana adhināyaka jaya hē
Bhārata bhāgya Vidhātā
Pañjāba Sindhu Gujarāṭa Marāṭhā
Drāviḍa Utkala Baṅga
Vindhya Himācala ẏamunā Gaṅgā
Ucchala jaladhi taraṅga
Tava śubha nāmē jāgē
Tava śubha āśiṣa māgē
Gāhē tava jaya gāthā
Jana gaṇa maṅgala dāyaka jaya hē
Bhārata bhāgya vidhātā
Jaya hē jaya hē jaya hē
Jaya jaya jaya jaya hē

48 most irritating things in IT / Technology

Technology has made the world a better place – but it's also made it much more annoying. Come with us as we unveil the 48 most irritating things in IT.


48. Chargers. A different charger for every single gadget, and a new type of charger whenever there's a minor model upgrade. Brilliant.

47. Steve Jobs. Yes, the man's a genius – but be honest. You want to punch him. You do!

46. Microsoft(r) Product(tm) Names(c) Pointless Edition(tm) 2008 Service Pack 3.1 beta 4 – On Ice!

45. Tabloid scare stories. Facebook will eat your face, or kill bees, or something.

44. Exploding laptops. You'd think that we could make a battery that doesn't catch on fire by now.

43. DRM. It's Latin for "pain in the arse".

42. Software that needs 99 patches. Here's an idea. Why not test it before you release it?

41. Red Rings of Death. Memo to Microsoft: hardware isn't software. You can't flog it and fix it later.



40. Traffic management and bandwidth caps. Which bit of "unlimited" don't ISPs understand?

39. International roaming. Yes, Mr Mobile network. £400 per email is great value for money.

38. Stupid format wars. They're not big, they're not clever, and they mean early adopters get their fingers burnt. Not the smartest business strategy.

37. Software bloat. Especially antivirus software that's so bloated our PCs can't get infected because there's no room left for anything.

36. Product launches that think they're rock concerts. It's a new SDK! Guitar solo!

35. Unnecessary obsolescence. Forcing us to buy stuff we don't need by breaking stuff we already have? What an excellent, customer-friendly idea.

34. Facebook and MySpace. Just because.

33. Printer ink and mobile phone data charges. It'd be cheaper to do drugs. DRUGS MADE OF GOLD AND DIAMONDS.

32. Advertising. It's a necessary evil, but does it have to be quite so evil?

31. Viral sodding marketing.

30. Fanboys. Your choice of operating system/games console/telephone is better than my choice of operating system/games console/telephone? Why, how fascinating. Please, marry my daughter.

29. Friends Reunited reminders. "People you hate have signed up. Please come back! Please!"

28. Email forwards. Is it unfair to respond with a string of expletives? It is? Sorry, mum.

27. RealPlayer. Like the Black Death, but made of software.

26. eBook Readers. Just like real books, but more expensive, less useful, stuffed with DRM and likely to electrocute you in the bath.

25. Blog commenters. No, not you. Them.

24. Batteries. It's funny how 100 per cent charge becomes 0 per cent the second you actually need to do something.



23. Wireless networks. They work through walls, you say? Our router can't throw a packet through a hamster.

22. Family members. There's nothing we love more than getting rid of spyware and Trojans from your laptop during Christmas dinner while shuddering in horror at your search history.

21. Online gaming. Like the Jerry Springer Show, but global and 24/7.

20. Greedy software. You've installed an image viewer. Of course you want it to play your MP3s, answer the door and babysit the kids.

19. Acrobat Reader. The software equivalent of using a nuclear warhead to drill a hole.

18. Google's cache / the Wayback Machine. We deleted it for a reason!

17. Internet banking. 27 different card readers, 304 passwords and a magic dance to discover you're still broke.

16. Endless betas. When Gmail 1.0 comes out, we'll all be living on Mars.

15. Unboxing videos. What's next? Getting The Bus Home From The Shop videos?

14. Stupid! prodct! namez! WiTHuneCCEssaryCAPITALisatioNandnospaceS!

13. People who shout WOO! at product launches and tech conferences.

12. Mid-game mystery reboots. No end of level boss is as wicked as Windows Update.

11. Software pop-ups. Interrupting us when we're doing something interesting to tell us something completely useless? How kind.

10. Mysterious status updates. "Sharon is very annoyed with a certain someone and is going to tell you-know-who about you-know-what." What is this? Primary school?

9. Proprietary formats.

8. Marketing bullshit. 3-watt speakers are not "powerful".

7. Long launches. If it's ready, ship it. If it isn't, shut up.

6. Novelty USB products. The tech equivalent of "you don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps!!!!!" stickers.

5. Device not found. IT'S RIGHT THERE! LOOK AT IT! YOU'RE BOTH TURNED ON!

4. Ugly PCs. Surely it's not that hard to make something that isn't hideous?

3. Broadband speeds. Sure, you can get 20Mb – if you move home and live in the phone exchange.

2. Long boot times. On PCs, on phones, on consoles, on absolutely everything. Time is money, people!

1. Pocket patting. The constant, irrational fear that you've left your laptop/iPod/phone/DS/PSP in the pub even though you know you haven't. The more beers you've had, the more times you'll check.

Hiroshima : Just after the Bombing : Pictures

Hiroshima was the primary target of the first nuclear bombing mission on August 6, with Kokura and Nagasaki being alternative targets. August 6 was chosen because there had previously been cloud cover over the target. The 393d Bombardment Squadron B-29 Enola Gay, piloted and commanded by 509th Composite Group commander Colonel Paul Tibbets, was launched from North Field airbase on Tinian in the West Pacific, about six hours flight time from Japan. The Enola Gay (named after Colonel Tibbets' mother) was accompanied by two other B29s, The Great Artiste which carried instrumentation, commanded by Major Charles W. Sweeney, and a then-nameless aircraft later called Necessary Evil (the photography aircraft) commanded by Captain George Marquardt.

Just 4 Gags

1. Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep,forgot his family,forgot
his food,forgot laughter were called "Saints".

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2. An interesting line written at the back of an Biker's T Shirt:

" If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has
fallen off"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


3. Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..Its just that,One loves too much and
The other loves too many,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



4. Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my
salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the
company..!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


5. Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


6. What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


7. Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise
man cannot answer"

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8. Boy: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only girl I
ever loved.!"

Boy: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9. After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: "
WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


10. A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...

..... Leave them to us

Mystery of a 'cosmic impact

A hundred years ago this week, a gigantic explosion ripped open the dawn sky above the swampy taiga forest of western Siberia, leaving a scientific riddle that endures to this day.

A dazzling light pierced the heavens, preceding a shock wave with the power of a thousand atomic bombs which flattened 80 million trees in a swathe of more than 2,000 square kilometres.

Evenki nomads recounted how the blast tossed homes and animals into the air. In Irkutsk, 1,500km away, seismic sensors registered what was initially deemed to be an earthquake. The fireball was so great that a day later, Londoners could read their newspapers under the night sky.

What caused the so-called Tunguska Event, named after the Podkamennaya Tunguska river near where it happened, has spawned at least a half a dozen theories.

The biggest finger of blame points at a rogue rock whose destiny, after travelling in space for millions of years, was to intersect with Earth at exactly 7.17am on June 30, 1908.

Even the most ardent defenders of the sudden impact theory acknowledge there are many gaps. They strive to find answers, believing this will strengthen defences against future Tunguska-type threats, which experts say occur with an average frequency from one in 200 years to one in 1,000 years.

"Imagine an unspotted asteroid laying waste to a significant chunk of land... and imagine if that area, unlike Tunguska and a surprising amount of the globe today, were populated," the British science journal Nature commented last week.

Comets move at far greater speeds than asteroids, which means they release more kinetic energy upon impact. A small comet would deliver the same punch as a larger asteroid. But no fragments of the Tunguska villain have ever been found, despite many searches.

Finding a piece is important, for it will boost our knowledge about the degrees of risk from dangerous Near Earth Objects, say Italian researchers Luca Gasperini, Enrico Bonatti and Giuseppe Longo.

"(I)f the Tunguska event was in fact caused by a comet, it would be a unique occurrence rather than an important case study of a known class of phenomena," Gasperini's team write in this month's issue of Scientific American .

"On the other hand, if an asteroid did explode in the Siberian skies that June morning, why has no-one yet found fragments?"

The Italian trio believe the answers lie in a curiously-shaped oval lake, called Lake Cheko, located about 10km from ground zero. Computer models, they say, suggest it is the impact crater from a metre-sized fragment that survived the explosion. A rival theory is given an airing in this week's New Scientist .

Lake Cheko does not have the typical round shape of an impact crater, and no extraterrestrial material has been found, which means "there's got to be a terrestrial explanation," Wolfgang Kundt, a physicist at Germany's Bonn University told the British weekly.

He believes the Tunguska Event was caused by a massive escape of 10 million tonnes of methane-rich gas deep within Earth's crust. Evidence of a similar release can be found on the Blake Ridge off Norway, Kundt said.

Mobiles pose no health risk: Study

Those who worry that mobile phones and their transmission towers are health hazards can now relax following studies coordinated by the Berlin-based Federal Office for Radiation Protection (BfS).

German Environment Minister Sigmar Gabriel said more than 50 studies in the German Mobile Telecommunications Research Programme (DMF), conducted from 2002 to 2008, had found no evidence that mobile phones and transmission towers posed a health risk within the required limits for electromagnetic radiation.

The programme was funded with 17 million euros ($26 million), a small sum compared with the billions of euros that the German government collected when it auctioned licenses for slices of Germany's UMTS airwave spectrum in 2000.

Though the country's four mobile network operators provided half of the research funds, the BfS told critics that DMF procedures had ensured the objectivity of the studies.

Research focused on the functioning mechanisms of high frequency electromagnetic fields in mobile telephony, the fields' effect on humans and animals, and the amount of electromagnetic radiation to which the public is exposed.

Several studies looked at possible effects on what is known as the blood-brain barrier, a kind of filter that prevents harmful substances in the blood from reaching neurons in the brain.

According to the BfS, the studies found no conclusive evidence that radiation from mobile telephony significantly weakened the blood-brain barrier.

Three studies dealt with the 1.5 percent of Germans who describe themselves as "electrosensitive" and blame various health problems on electromagnetic fields.

Since the ailments are typically things like headaches and sleep disorders, which could have many causes, establishing a link with electromagnetic radiation is very difficult.

The studies found that some people were quicker to sense electromagnetic fields than others, and that health complaints were not necessarily connected with radiation.

Test persons were asked to speak up as soon as they felt exposure to electromagnetic fields. Those who considered themselves electro-sensitive sounded the most false alarms.

The BfS concluded there was no proof that electromagnetic fields caused the health problems named by electro-sensitive people.

The research programme also included a number of epidemiological studies aimed at determining whether mobile phone users contracted certain kinds of cancer more often than nonusers.

The BfS said there was no evidence of a link.

Despite the studies' reassuring results, the "all clear" signal comes with a caveat: Mobile telephony is safe as far as we know, but we still do not know everything.

"What concerns me is that we know little about the effects on children and juveniles," remarked Rolf Buschmann, an environmental expert at the North Rhine-Westphalia Consumer Centre in Dusseldorf.

There are no suitable scientific models at present for studies involving children.

The effects of long-term mobile phone use - 10 years or more - have not been sufficiently studied either, which is not surprising considering that the technology is still young.

For Bernd Rainer Mueller, an engineer and measurement technology specialist for the Berlin-based environmental protection organisation BUND, this is reason enough to demand lower legal limits for the electromagnetic radiation caused by mobile telephony.

"I'm afraid that otherwise half the population will have health problems at some point," he said.

Mueller's fears are based in part on the justified assumption that mobile-phone use will increase in the years ahead.

For its part, the BfS also sees the need for more research on long-term mobile-phone use as well as on the effects on children and juveniles.

And it continues to advise consumers to use mobile phones as little as possible, to buy low-radiation models, and to make sure that conditions for reception are good.

Katrina Kaif : Fever Pitch

Trust Katrina Kaif to be a thorough professional. The actress was down with heavy viral fever during the IIFA Awards held in Bangkok recently. The doctors had advised her complete bed rest. The organisers wondered whether Katrina would be able to live up to her commitment and perform live for the event.

In fact, taking the doctor's advice into consideration the organisers too suggested that Kats should just take it easy and not perform at the show. But Kats being Kats, popped in some antibiotics and was on the go! It was all rock and roll from then on.

Retracting from a commitment was out of question for her. And the kind of performance Kats dished out, not once did the onlookers come to know that Kats was completely under the weather, Looking as fresh as the morning dew, she not only had the audience on her side, but also the producers and directors who were stunned by her professionalism.

Looks like it's the offers that are now 'heating up' for the lovely Katrina.

Vidya goes ‘devil’ hunting in Toronto

She is one of the most gracious stars we know. At a recent episode during the shoot of Kismat Konnection, Vidya Balan realised her fascination for ‘devilry’. Apparently, the entire unit would go partying after pack-up everyday while in Toronto. So much so, that they soon started running out of great joints. And that’s when a friend of Vidya’s cousin who stays in the city recommended a place called ‘Devil’s Martini’ as a must-go.

From there started a real filmy tale that will stay with the unit members forever. Sharing it with Indiatimes Movies, Vidya said, “This is one incident that will stay with me for long. It may sound silly but it did freak all of us. I had the exact address with me and the entire crew, including me couldn’t wait to reach there and have a ball. But some how, when we reached the area, there was just no sign of ‘Devil’s Martini’.”

She added, “I even went ahead and asked the locals for direction who kept pointing a few blocks away but after hunting down the entire area, the nightclub was just nowhere in sight.”

A couple of days later, they once agin tried finding Devil’s Martini, but it could not be traced. The crew tried hunting it out on five different occasions during the entire shooting schedule, but it was nowhere to be found. In fact, the entire crew was so spooked by this, before eventually realizing that it is just not in their ‘kismat’!

But like they say, when it rains, it pours. On-set dress designer Shabeena Khan decided to take on the task of throwing parties regularly back in her hotel room which she shared with Rahila Mirza, the director’s daughter and writer of Kismat Konnection. And while the unit partied away to glory, they soon got so famous that it ended up in Shabina’s room getting ransacked!

“Shabina’s parties were really extravagant and trust me; we had the time of our lives. Unfortunately, some not-so-lucky beings got wind of our fun and one day when we returned from the sets, the entire room was ransacked, including even the peanut butter sachets and loose pennies,” revealed a giggling Vidya.

IBM aims to use water to cool chips

IBM researchers have shown the possibility of using a network of tiny pipes of water to cool next-generation PC chips.

Experts at the firm have created a prototype device that has thousands of “hair-width” cooling arteries, which they believe may be a solution to the increasing amount of heat pumped out by chips as they become smaller and more densely packed with components.

The researchers demonstrated the technology in IBM's 3D chips, where circuits are stacked one on top of the other.

They say that vertical laying of chips, rather than side by side, reduces the distance data has to travel, enhances performance and saves critical space.

"As we package chips on top of each other....we have found that conventional coolers attached to the back of a chip don't scale. In order to exploit the potential of high-performance 3D chip stacking, we need interlayer cooling," the BBC quoted Thomas Brunschwiler at IBM's Zurich Research Laboratory as saying.

He said that conventional cooling techniques, which involve the use of fans and heat sinks, do not work as well with the 3D technology, particularly as heat has to be drawn away from between the individual chips.

According to him, piping water through sealed tubes just 50 microns in diameter between individual layers of the chip seems to offer a solution to the problem.

The researchers suggest that water is much more efficient than air at absorbing heat, and thus even with tiny amounts of liquid flowing through could show a dramatic effect.

IBM experts believe that its water-cooling technology could be available as a product in five years.

Britain to probe shortage of Indian chefs

An inquiry has been launched by the department of Home Affairs to assess the impact of newly introduced points-based migration system which has hit three billion pound Indian restaurant and catering industry in Britain.

The Indian restaurant industry has been adversely affected by the new system as it had made difficult to recruit chefs from the Indian sub-continent.

Restaurant owners and representatives of the catering industry recently took to the streets in London and Edinburgh against the system.

The committee, launched by the Home Affairs Select Committee chaired by India-origin Labour MP Keith Vaz, will inquire into the implementation plans for the points-based migration system, including an examination of the impact of the proposed system on particular groups and sectors and an assessment of the introduction of new sponsorship arrangements.

"The catering industry has raised major concerns about the effect they believe this system will have on their employees. It is vital that we look at the validity of these concerns. It is vital that the Government effectively manages migration to and from the UK to meet the demands of our economy and manage pressures on our labour market," Vaz said while announcing the inquiry.

"We therefore wish to examine the Government's plans for simplifying existing migration routes into this country through the new points-based

Fuel price hike: Airline sector suffers huge losses

India's crowded airline sector is flying into huge losses on the back of a surge in global fuel prices that has forced it to hike fares, slowing explosive passenger growth.

Its woes pushed the airlines to a combined loss of 938 billion dollars in the fiscal year to March 2008 and Aviation Secretary Ashok Chawla says the figure could double this year if oil prices remain at current levels.

The forecast represents nearly a third of total global losses of 6.1 billion dollars projected by the International Air Transport Association last week if oil stays around 135 dollars until year end.

"Aggressive consolidation is inevitable," said aviation consultant Kapil Kaul, who sees a shakeout in India, where a rush of new carriers created overcapacity and led some airlines to offer fares cheaper than train tickets.

"There will be exits, strategic alliances, airlines will have to work out how to share resources and rationalise route networks so carriers complement each other rather than compete," Kaul said.

Right now India's airlines are losing an average 30 dollars a passenger, said Kaul, India head of the Centre for Asia Pacific Aviation.

Cheaper fares amid an economic boom created a massive migration in the past few years from India's congested trains to planes that revolutionised travel in the country of 1.1 billion people. But that shift is losing pace.

With fares costlier, domestic air passenger traffic climbed just 8.7 per cent in April from a year earlier -- the slowest rate in four years -- as travellers switched back to trains and cars or opted not to travel.

Short-haul routes have been particularly hard hit as people turn to cheaper transport. Passenger growth now is far slower than the annual 25 per cent expansion the government forecast until the end of the decade.

"Before, you might have flown to your cousin's wedding. Now you think twice," said a senior airline official who asked not to be named. "We're getting just 50 per cent occupancy on some routes when it should be 80 per cent or more."

India has five main carriers including the biggest domestic carrier Jet Airways, Kingfisher and state-run Air India along with a clutch of smaller airlines.

"We should see these things (consolidation and route rationalisation) start happening by July, August when the (Indian) offpeak season starts," said Kaul. "But the next 12 to 18 months will be very hostile."

Shriya goes itsy-bitsy

Kollywood siren Shriya Saran is all set to scorch the screen this summer even as she turns cover girl for a popular men’s magazine.


She is the first South Indian star to be featured on the cover of the magazine, the photoshoot of which was done by celeb photographer Darren Centofanti on the outskirts of Mumbai.
The actress, who became a household name with Rajinikanth's Sivaji has been at the heart of some controversies, including the one where her 'inappropriate' attire at a function, where the Tamil Nadu CM was the chief guest, caused quite a stir.
Shriya is also acting in Ashok Amritraj's Hollywood flick The Other End of the Line, which co-stars Desperate Housewives hottie Jesse Metcalfe. The actress has her plate full this year as she will be seen sharing screenspace with Vikram in Susi Ganesan's Kanthasamy and play Sarath Kumar's daughter in Jaggubhai.

Mallu jokes

Enough of Sardar jokes....... ......... . Mallu jokes are here

(no offence meant pls...)!!!!! !!!!!






1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?



IngumDax


2) Where did the Malayali study?



In the ko-liage.


3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?



He is very bissi.


4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?



To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in

Gelff.


5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?



To yearn meney.


6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught

fire?



He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.


7) How does a Malayali spell moon?



MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen


8) What is Malayali management graduate called?



Yem Bee Yae.


9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to
America ?



He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.


10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office

everyday?



An Oto


11) Where does he pray?



In a Temble, Charch and a Maask


12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?



A Malaya-Lee of coarse.


13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?



Kerala.


14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?



Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi


15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?



He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say

'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'





16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?



" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "





17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football

teams ?



Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.


18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of



kokanet oil.


19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of

Benana

Chibbs.


20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of

BROGUN

bones....

Just for Laughs

Just for Laughs




Two men


met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: How yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st:

Forget mine.

Lets find yours!!

**********

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********

Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"


**********

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and


Panic

is when both are pregnant.

**********

Teacher: u know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are

customer complaints.


**********

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

**********

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.

Mother Faints... --



**********

Don't use mobile inside Toilet

I was barely sitting down when i heard a vioce from the other stall saying : "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of quesion is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No....... I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then i hear guy say nervously... .

Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my
questions!!!"

BenQ’s new Joybooks

BenQ has announced its foray into the laptop segment in India with a range of sleek, designer Joybooks. The new range will offer three distinct models, BenQ S32W, BenQ R43 and BenQ Q41.

The S32W model has a silver strip with a diamond-cut logo on the outside to match the artistic POP art pattern, 3D image embedded in the svelte aluminum body and a ripple textured touchpad.

The Q41 Joybook has an auxiliary 2.5 inch screen on the outer panel that allows users to view photos, play games and listen to music even when the Joybook's lid is closed. The R43 comes with a polished deep black lid and a band with an inscribed laminar film that shines, to give the Joybook a shimmering appearance.

BenQ's patented UltraVivid technology increases the brightness of the screen by using the DBEFTM (Display Brilliance Enhancement Film) technology and provides vibrant and sharp quality pictures even in variable lighting conditions.

The Joybooks incorporate Intel Core 2 Duo Processor and Windows Vista Premium. In addition the laptops come with wireless connectivity, built-in Bluetooth, speakers, microphones and one touch back-up process for data security

The Joybooks range is priced at Rs 30,000 onwards.

Indian-origin boy wins Spelling Bee in US

A 13-year-old Indian-origin boy, Sameer Mishra, won the 81st annual Scripps National Spelling Bee on Friday. Mishra took home a cash prize of $35,000, while winning more than $5,000 in other prizes. ( Watch )

The boy from West Lafayette, Indiana, who often had the audience laughing with his one-line commentaries, aced "guerdon" - a word that appropriately means "something that one has earned or gained" - to win competition.

This was Sameer's fourth year in the competition. His previous attempts saw him finish at 98th, 14th and 16th places in 2005, 2006 and 2007 respectively.

The second spot was bagged by Sidharth Chand, 12, of Bloomfield Hills, who stumbled on "prosopopoeia" (a word describing a type of figure of speech). This was Sidharth's first year at the bee.

A record 288 spellers were entered in this year's bee; the 45 semifinalists were the survivors from Thursday's preliminary and quarterfinal rounds. Twelve spellers advanced to the finals, which was aired live on ABC .

Born outside womb after nine months

urga, an Australian baby has baffled doctors after she survived outside of the womb for a full-term pregnancy, a medical phenomenon believed to be the world's first.

Durga Thangarajah was delivered by obstetricians at the Darwin Private Hospital in Australia's northern territory on Thursday after a delicate caesarean operation that lasted for two hours.

Doctors and obstetricians at the hospital, who helped deliver Durga from her mother's right ovary, are baffled at the phenomenon, saying an ovarian pregnancy is one of the rarest variation of ectopic pregnancies and generally have life-threatening complications. They have dubbed Durga a "miracle baby".

The parents, Ravi and Meera Thangarajah, both Sri Lankans, had migrated to Australia over two decades ago.

Because of the high risk, expecting mothers who were examined by hospital in the early stages with an ectopic pregnancy are advised to abort. Meera's case was identified in late stages as earlier examinations were not abnormal.

Obstetrician Andrew Miller said he was stunned when he found the baby squeezed into Meera's right ovary.

He said she was lucky the ovary had not ruptured as the baby grew and stretched the skin. He said the skin was so thin that he could see the baby's facial features through it.

"It could have ruptured at any moment, leaving both mother and baby's lives at risk," the Australian doctor said.

Miller termed it as a medical phenomenon. "This form of pregnancy is rare enough, but to have it go full term is unheard of," he said.

"I have never come across it in any hospital. It truly is a miracle she got a living baby out of it she's extraordinarily lucky," Miller told the Northern Territory News .

Miller said Meera's egg didn't travel down the fallopian tube and into the uterus, instead staying in the ovary for the full term.

'Birth defects more common in boys'

Birth defects have been found to be more common among boys than girls, according to a report.

And the most commonly occurring defect is hypospadia, an abnormally placed urinary opening in the male urethra.

Conditions that affect both sexes, but are more prevalent in boys, include congenital heart diseases, oesophageal defects and kidney cysts. Chromosomal abnormalities, such as Down syndrome, are the second-most commonly reported congenital anomalies.

"For every 10,000 babies born during 2002-2003, about 11 were born with Down syndrome," said Samanthi Abeywardana, author of the Australian report.

"When terminations of pregnancies were included, the total estimated rate for Down syndrome was just over 26 per 10,000 pregnancies - an increase from previous reports."

The risk of having a baby with Down syndrome increases with age, from one in 1,500 for mothers aged 20-24, to one in 184 for women 40 and over.

The estimated prevalence of neural tube defects was about 10 per 10,000 pregnancies, about 13 per cent less than the 1998-2001 period.

The rate of anencephaly, the most severe form of neural tube defect, which is always fatal, declined from 5.1 per 10,000 pregnancies in 1998 to 3.8 per 10,000 pregnancies in 2003 - a 25 per cent reduction.

A higher overall rate of congenital anomalies was reported for the births to indigenous women compared with non-indigenous women (356 per 10,000 births versus 308 per 10,000 births).

Amisha Patel’s skin show

All those who have seen the rushes of Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic are going gung ho about Amisha Patel.

Apparently the actress is looking wow in a glamorous new avtaar. More than her look, there’s plenty of skin show, but no one is complaining because the actress has worked on her body and is looking very hot and happening. In fact, we hear that with this film, she is planning to revamp her onscreen image from a girl next door to a sexy siren.

With a new boyfriend Kanav, who is ready to lay the world at her feet and now with her new sexy look, Amisha seems to be heading at the right direction. Now do we see Vikram Bhatt raising his eyebrows?

Tata Motors plans to raise $1.7 billion for Jaguar deal

Tata Motors Ltd, India's top truck and bus maker, said on Wednesday it plans to raise about 72 billion rupees ($1.7 billion) through three simultaneous but unlinked rights issue to help fund its purchase of the Jaguar and Land Rover brands.

The company, also India's No. 3 car maker after Maruti Suzuki and South Korea's Hyundai Motor, said it expected to complete the $2.3 billion acquisition of the two brands from Ford Motor Co shortly.

Tata Motors reported a consolidated net profit of 21.67 billion rupees in the year to March 2008.

O-ZONE: The New Sexy!

Is the new size zero Bebo sexy? Do women wearing sports jerseys look sexy — a la Katrina Kaif, Preity Zinta and Kareena Kapoor? Are cushy bums sexy or a put-off? Is a jiggly cleavage desirable or sheer desperate? Is a beefcake (heavily muscled guy) drool stuff or pukey?

Who is to take a call on what is sexy and what not? Has the definition of “sexy” changed over the years? We knew sexy as a bad word — to be sexy was to be a “bad girl” arousing forbidden urges in men. Vamps were sexy and heroines good, innocent and attractive. Much adrenaline has flown from then to today, when “sexy” is a coveted status. Today, sexy has lost its gender or sex relevance and has come to mean many things — in fact, it’s one of the most casually used words. People hail cars as sexy; bars, restaurants and cities as sexy; dogs as sexy — why even thoughts are considered sexy! An animal rights ad suggests that pasta and vegetables can be sexy! What next? Remember the Govinda-Karishma number... Mere shoes bhi sexy, meri pant bhi sexy, meri shirt bhi sexy....ye rumaal bhi sexy...? So stretched is the definition today that anything or anyone attractive can be given the epithet, “sexy”. The one big change of course is that sexy today is good news, not bad anymore...

And yet, is sexy a physical attribute or does it go beyond? Is sexy something that slams you in the gut and gets the juices flowing, or is sexy an attitude that attracts? Does the sex quotient reside in the body, face, eyes or mind? Or does it actually have nothing to do with the object, but everything to do with the beholder? Is sexy something tangible or is it a wispy imaginative quality that keeps shifting and changing with varying perspectives?
Madhubala’s slanted smile and flirtatious gaze, Nimmi’s pout and wounded eyes; Meena Kumari’s sensual voice and stricken look; Madhuri Dixit’s lip caught between her teeth and dhak-dhak bosom — and today, Kareena’s size zero jutting bones and vanished curves — some of our sexiest heroines — what’s common between them all? Physical attributes? From a Meena Kumari to a Kareena? Certainly not that! They were all beautiful women, who displayed great confidence and a certain attitude peculiar to themselves. It wasn’t so much in their curves or lack of them that they carried their sexiness, but in their attitude, and perhaps in their eyes.

Shah Rukh and Kareena have no doubt redefined fitness and thinness with their newly-sculpted figures. But even as those show boys slog it out, coaxing out a few pectorals or a perfect six-pack and the show girls starve themselves to reduce to size zeroes; even as men become more sculpted and women bid goodbye to good ole curves, one wonders if the definition of sexy is changing? No, not really. Sexy today is still as sexy does. It’s not in their thinness or form, but in something beyond that their sexiness resides.

If the new Kareena is sexy, so should be the thousands of malnourished girls whose gaunt looks, sculpted cheekbones and protruding ribs have nothing to do with power yoga, soups and salads, but a lot to do with utter poverty and lack of a good, balanced diet. So what is it that makes Kareena sexy and not those girls? It’s her attitude, her confidence, the spring in her step, the knowing look in her eyes — her come-hither attitude.

If Shah Rukh Khan with his six-pack has upped his sex quotient, how does he compare with the original six-packers — millions of labourers, rickshaw pullers and farmers whose muscles have nothing to do with workouts and hormone injections, and everything to do with sheer physical labour?

Ask around and you will discover sexy is more a matter of perspective than of rules and definition. A quick poll had different men settling for a woman’s face, legs, curves, smile, body language or bust as a quotient of her sexiness. Women went for a man’s eyes, height, intelligence, looks, sense of humour, chivalry, body smell or six packs!

And yet, ask them if anyone had these attributes but no sense of style, no confidence, no attitude — and the sexiness goes out of the window! They quickly settled for attitude over everything else! Recently, nearly 75 per cent Americans polled said that sexiness is more an attitude than in the perfect physique. More than 76 per cent even went on to say that a woman can be sexy even she was a size 14 or larger!

You either are sexy, or you aren’t. There’s nothing you can do to your body to make you sexy; but there’s plenty you can do to your attitude and your mind that makes you sexy.

A do-or-die battle

Chennai Super Kings face a do-or-die battle for a semi-final berth in the Indian Premier League as they take on out-of-contention Deccan Chargers, who are yet to post a win on home turf, at the Rajiv Gandhi International stadium on Tuesday.

A loss on Tuesday would all but end Super Kings' chances of making the semi-finals after Mahendra Singh Dhoni's men narrowly lost the match against the Rajasthan Royals on Saturday.

The Chennai team has 14 points from seven wins and six defeats in the tournament so far. The visitors start favourites against the Adam Gilchrist-led hosts, who are no longer in the race for the title after losing 11 of their 13 matches and finishing last.

The hosts, however, will play for pride as they aim to post their maiden win at home

Indians largest group to get British citizenship in 2007

Indians have turned out to be the largest group of immigrants, who have been granted British citizenship during 2007, according to the official figures released this week.

Last year, a record numbers of foreign nationals, 164,635 people, were granted citizenship, a seven per cent rise in 12 months. It was the highest since the Home Office began keeping comparable records in 1997, the figures reveal.

The biggest group was from India, who made up nine per cent of the total with 14,490. Filipinos constituted seven per cent with 10,840, Afghans six per cent with 10,555 and South Africans five per cent with 8,150.

A quarter of citizenships, about 41,000 were given to children, while about 29,000 became British nationals through marriage.

Last year, 160,980 people applied for citizenship while 14,725 applications were rejected.

According to the Home Office the reasons for increase in 2007 were not clear but suggested that speedier decision making had reduced the backlog of applicants.

While record numbers of people took citizenship, separate figures released by the Office of National Statistics showed that a record 400,000 people have left Britain in 2006, of which more than half were British citizens.

Of these, almost one-third went to live in Australia and New Zealand, a quarter to Spain or France and about one in twelve to the US.

An estimated 591,000 people came to Britain, resulting in net immigration in 2006 running at 191,000. Net immigration of New Commonwealth citizens was 115,000. It was the highest of all foreign citizenship groups coming to the country. Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis and Sri Lankans made up 80 per cent of net migrants, with London being their most common destination, where they intended to stay.

Smiliey Suri won’t stand eve-teasing

Bravo! Smiliey Suri should be applauded for her guts and the strength she displayed recently when she was almost rubbed off the wrong way.

The actress was at the Mahim Church last week when she was targeted by two rowdy boys who were lurking around the holy place. “I normally go to the church in the evening but this time I decided to go in the morning instead,” says the actress, who still gets goosebumps thinking about the incident.

“I noticed that there were two guys who were staring at me. They stood at a distance and kept saying something and smiling,” says Smiliey, who found the whole thing a little odd.

The actress, however, continued to pray and left the church to get into her car which was parked on the opposite side of the road. “When I was crossing the road, one of them brushed against my back, I stopped and turned and that’s when the other man, brushed against me from the front. I was shocked for a second and didn’t know what to do. I went up to them and asked them what they thought they were doing,” says the brave girl.

The boys looked as if they were doped, she says and denied doing anything intentionally. “But I kept arguing and also removed my shoe to hit them. That’s when two elderly women intervened and told me not to create a scene and let the boys off.” Smiliey then put her shoe down but when she was about to leave, she saw the guys laughing. “It was a smile of victory, like as if they had achieved what they wanted,” says the angry actress.

“But then I lost it, I just ran up to them, kicked one guy, punched the other one hard. I kept doing this for atleast a few minutes. Then I turned back and ran to my car. The whole incident shook me up and I was sobbing, but yet I was happy that I had taught them a lesson,” says the actress, who is still nursing a bruised wrist.

She is sure that the boys must have learned a lesson and won’t try the same thing again. “Girls shouldn’t let others take advantage of them. We are not weak, we can fight back too,” she says. Girls are you’ll listening?

A song Rahman wanted to sing

We all know that AR Rahman is the most sought after music director in our country and more than that he’s often accused of keeping the best song in the film album for himself...


Whether its Khalbali in Rang De Basanti, Khawaja in Jodhaa Akbar, Tere Bina in Guru and Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na title track.
Laughs AR Rahman, "Actually that’s not true at all...Usually it is the producers or the filmmakers who insist that I should sing. In the case of Jaane Tu..Ya Jaane Na, it was the other way round.
I was very keen to sing the title track as it had a jazz ring to it and Abbas was not very keen to use a male voice.
I had to really convince him to let me sing the song. Thankfully it’s come out really well and now Abbas is very happy with the song.”
Jaane Tu..Ya Jaane Na marks the debut of Aamir Khan’s nephew and will have South Indian actress Genelia playing the female lead.
Aamir has gone all out to promote the film and has personally sat through the scripting and music sessions with Rahman.
With both Rahman and Aamir being perfectionists, this is one film to look forward to.

AIDS vaccine still out of reach

A quarter of a century since the virus that causes AIDS was identified, a vaccine against the deadly disease remains frustratingly out of reach despite a well-funded global effort to find a cure.

"Nearly a billion dollars is spent globally on HIV/AIDS research annually, and yet the sobering reality is that at present there are no promising candidates for an HIV vaccine," Bruce Walker of Harvard Medical School wrote in the May 9 edition of the journal Science.

The research community was dealt a heavy blow in September when the clinical trials of the most promising and widely tested HIV vaccine candidate were halted after it turned out to be a failure.

Early results showed that, rather than preventing HIV or reducing the viral load in people who received it, the experimental vaccine may have increased their chances of become infected.

"We share in the disappointment of the research and HIV communities today. Sadly, developing an effective AIDS vaccine remains one of the most challenging tasks facing modern medicine," Peter Kim, president of Merck Research Laboratories, which developed the candidate, said at the time.

Merck's vaccine aimed to stimulate T cells, a type of white blood cell key to the body's immune response, taking a different approach than numerous more traditional vaccines already tested without success.

"The (research) community is depressed because we see no hopeful route to success," American biologist and Nobel prize laureate David Baltimore said of the quest for an AIDS vaccine, at the opening of the latest conference of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, in February.

"Knowing how critical it is to get a vaccine for HIV, developers are moving ahead, even recognizing the long odds for success," he added.

The unique qualities of the HIV pathogen make developing a vaccine particularly challenging, Walker explained.

It has an enormous diversity of genetic sequences, and a great capacity to mutate and adapt, he said.

HIV strains can be divided into three different groups, of which the first, M, is itself divided into nine subtypes, with an undetermined number of variants.

One of the sub-type viruses can vary from 20 to 38 per cent in Africa, where multiple variants exist.

Moreover, the retrovirus can undergo more mutations during the infection of a single individual than the entire world flu epidemic, which requires development of a new vaccine every year, Walker said.

With 33 million people living with HIV worldwide, developing a vaccine to protect simultaneously against all the pathogen's variants is a considerable challenge, Walker said.

And the fact that HIV is an infection of the immune system makes the task even more complicated, since traditional vaccines work by boosting the immune system to fight pathogens.

"There are so many things we do not know in this field of HIV vaccines," Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said at a summit his organization hosted in March to evaluate the situation going forward following the failure of the Merck vaccine.

At the summit, leading AIDS specialists discussed avenues of research that remain largely unexplored, such as protection at the level of the mucous membranes, and the natural immunity of certain species of monkey to the primate equivalent of HIV, Simian immunodeficiency virus (SIV).

Feeling depressed, get married: Study

Feeling depressed, get married. At least this is what a new study quoted by LiveScience.com suggests.

But it also concludes that marriage even if "so-so" gives a greater psychological boost to the depressed than to the happy people.

Previous studies, the website says, have suggested that the psychological perks of marriage depend upon marriage quality a happy marriage gives rise to a happy couple, and vice-versa.

Taking a cue from the earlier studies, Adrianne Frech, a sociology graduate student at Ohio State University, and her colleague, Kristi Williams, speculated that happy people would garner more psychological perks from marriage than depressed people.

In order to test the hypothesis, they looked at a sample of 3,066 men and women who had been interviewed and tested for depression once in either 1987 or 1988 and then again five years later. In the interviews, they were asked about the quality of their marriage (if they were married).

On an average, accounting for differences in depression, subjects who had got married over the five-year span between the two interviews reported improved psychological well-being in the second interview -- scoring an average of 3.42 points lower on the 84-point depression scale--than their counterparts who did not marry.

However, when they teased apart into how marriage affected those who had been depressed at the start of the study to those who had been happy, they came across something unexpected.

Preity Zinta off to Cannes

In between cheering for Team Mohali in the IPL and comforting the players, Preity Zinta has taken a few days off to attend the Cannes Film Festival as brand ambassador of a luxury watch and jewellery company.

“Can’t help it,” said Preity. “For two years now, I’ve been the brand ambassador for the company and I’ve to be at Cannes every year, come what may... ha, ha... pun intended.”

The actress has several events lined up in Cannes, but no movies. “There are no movies this year. I’d have liked to bring my film Har Pal, but it isn’t ready. If Rituparno Ghosh’s Last Lear is shown, I’ll go for it. But, my job as brand ambassador for this company will keep me busy for the next three days. I’ve a red carpet event. Then, a dinner organised by the company, followed by a picnic in the afternoon. Once I return to India, I will head immediately for my IPL commitments.”

Understandably, she’s exhausted. “But, I’m also exhilarated. The IPL has been a whole new learning experience for me,” said Preity, who is accompanied to Cannes by her cousin Inder. What about those who feel that IPL is confusing? “Not at all! It’s such an eye-opener. Players of different age groups and of different nationalities are interacting on one platform. The younger lot is learning from senior international names. Where would they get a chance to do that?”

Soha in a swimsuit

Soha Ali Khan sheds inhibitions and clothes”, says the cover page of Maxim, a men’s magazine. Well that is really a shock for her fans who love her girl next door image. Soha has surprised everyone by her sensuous side.

Her two piece bikini is a hot makeover for Soha who has been very much appreciated in her girl next door image. But don’t so be surprised by Soha’s new hot avtaar because she is not the first to show her sensuous side. Her mother, veteran actress Sharmila Tagore was known for her sensuous roles during her time. Interestingly Soha has been seen in her non glamorous roles in most of her previous films but her mother always had an extremely glamorous image.

It seems finally Soha has realized that apart from her great talent she needs to increase her glamour quotient. Maxim has given a great opportunity to Soha to flaunt her sinful side.

Maxim is a popular fashion magazine and it can be recalled that well known Bollywood actors like Bipasha Basu, Malaika Arora Khan, Mallika Shrewat, Sherlyn Chopra, Shilpa Shetty have posed for it.

Hindi Movie Rang De Basanti Deleted Scenes

Love Story 2050 - Promo - Harman Bawaje - Priyanka Chopra

WALLPAPERS

Wallpapers of some bollywood actress